Life and Other Mysteries

I was thinking the other day, how easy it is for us to take the phrase “Jesus Loves You” and make it common place. I like many grew up hearing this a million times. When something is said so often it almost loses its meaning especially when we take it out of the context of the cross. The cross makes the phrase come to life and has endless meaning.

But what does it really mean to be redeemed?

Google describes the definition of redemptive as “an adjective describing something that acts to save, rescue, or restore someone from error, sin, or a difficult situation. Rooted in the Latin word redimere, which means “to buy back”, it points to the idea of recovery, healing, and positive transformation”.

“For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your ancestors, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.” 1Peter 1:18-20 NIV

        ** Think to yourself – Jesus, the Son of God, was chosen as our perfect Redeemer – His main purpose was to die, to be the perfect sacrificial lamb, and buy us back  from sin and deception, what other god has ever done that?  **

I remember the day I got so mad at God. I was in college. I was so heartbroken about all the events that were occurring in my life at the time. There were things occurring in my family that had been slowly breaking me, I had an academic advisor that was telling me I was not going to achieve my dream, that I was not good enough and then there was a relationship that I held in high esteem that broke apart. I remember feeling so disconnected and disjointed from God despite trying to maintain the relationship. In many ways, I felt like a failure. I tried to put on smile and a brave face for the world but the sheer weight of it all was more than I knew how to bear. I remember the spiritual attack I was under came from all angles. It felt like it was not going to stop. Finally under the weight of it all I broke.  I told God that if this was His kind of love, I did not want it! I got mad at God. 
When I look back, I can tell you with all honesty this was not my finest moment to put it lightly. In fact, up to this point I had been an active growing christian who read my bible everyday, prayed and went to church as often as I could and volunteered for whatever was available to help others. 

I can tell you from a different vantage point many years laters that God did not cause any of the events that led me to that point in my life. Often times, it is human nature to blame shift. We are looking for someone to blame, for someone else to be wrong or for it to not be of our own doing. It’s easy to blame, that’s the default programmed into us from this fallen world.

I heard a Pastor put it this way there are 3 types of sin:
    1. Fallen World: we go through things as a consequence of what happened in the garden of  Eden, where sin entered the world. Ever since that moment, unfair events have occurred and is often referred to as general sin. Sometimes bad things happen as a result of our fallen sinful condition and the cursed world where we toil daily and has nothing to do with us.    

2. Satan and demonic forces: the principalities which rule the earth. Satan and his demons love to prowl around harassing those who love God. I know the times I am closest to God, all literal hell breaks loose! This is not any fault of our own, it’s an attack and we need to recognize it for what it is. How we handle the pressure and attack is what determines our own involvement in sin. (MAJOR CONVICTION moment) I know this is probably one of the hardest aspects to deal with. Sometimes we cannot see or understand why it’s happening -that is the hardest part.    

3. Personal Sin: bad things happen because of our own personal sin and choices we make. Sometimes, it is us that creates the consequence we are fighting against – we had a hand in making the 

things that go wrong in our own lives. 

Key take aways from this paragraph: 1) all sin comes from suffering which stems from our fallen world. Sometimes we are the problem and create our own prisons. But there is the last option, spiritual attack from demonic forces. But something to note here is that there are essentially two (2) aspects from where sin derives from: it comes from us and our choices and it comes from Satan/ demonic forces. Not God.

When things go wrong, it’s so easy for us to get on our high horse and ride right into the middle of town to blame God. Think about Jesus. That is exactly what the crowd did when they were yelling crucify him! Nothing has changed some two thousand years later! This was the very lesson, God had taught me through my own personal experience:Everyone experiences pain. A lot of people do not know how to profit or harvest from their pain. When you can learn to take your pain and turn it into growth – you can be used greatly by God. Your story becomes your testimony. Those that go through great difficulty and pain in their lives God can turn that suffering and use it for His purpose and plan – to grow you or help someone else out of the very same pit. You become better instead of bitter. We have to fight daily to make our problems small and make God bigger. At the end of the day, we have find the end of ourselves. I know, for me, this is what happened. I was focusing so much on all the problems I failed to see what God was actually doing right before my very eyes.

I mentioned a failed relationship above, at the time, this seemed so devastating. In the midst of my own rebellion – God intervened. I thought in that moment, I was versed on all the things I needed to know. I thought I knew best – and that my friend, is what we call pride. Pride can be a very powerful motivator for a lot of things in our lives. Think about this, it was pride that got Satan/ Lucifer kicked out of heaven. So that must be a pretty serious crime!Despite my attempt to run from God, He was running after me like the prodigal daughter I was. For the first time I heard God speak to me, I was running full force in trouble – But God in the moment said to my spirit ” STOP! You are going to ruin the plans I have for you”. When I think back on what the voice sounded like, it was authoritative and strong but it wasn’t scary, it had a lovingness about it. Only God could do that combo!  I remember feeling like I was hearing things, I was looking all around for the voice. I thought for a moment,  I was going crazy! But deep down in my spirit I knew His voice. It’s a funny thing when you know you are doing something wrong and God calls you out on it — it’s not like you really have to ask where that came from? It’s the Holy Spirit convicting you, because DEEP down in your soul you KNOW!  Immediately, I was convicted, and made the right decision to run away from sin like the story of Joseph. Run Forrest, Run!!! 

At this point, in my little journey of rebellion, this act of intervention made me more mad at God! Can you believe that?! But sadly it’s true. I really liked this guy and I wanted it to work out!! Flash forward a few short months later. This same guy I had put on a pedestal, who I also got mad at God over, ended up sleeping with a mutual friend. Poof, all that I thought I knew about this guy went up in smoke in a fury! I remember walking into my room and just sitting on the end of my bed. I was so deep in thought about everything that had been going on. I felt deep conviction about that pride I had in my heart, because I started asking myself the important questions like what my life would have been like if I had made all the decisions I wanted to. How would that have actually played out? After some time had passed the realization clicked – my choices would have caused me grave harm – emotionally, spiritually and mentally. God really knew what He was doing when He intervened! In that moment, I remember randomly picking up a CD, I had not listened to (I know these things are almost obsolete now lol) and looking at track titles, I picked the song The Promise. I played it. I sat there listening to every word – it was saying all the things my heart was screaming to say but didn’t have the words for! In that moment, the ice began melting away from my heart and I felt a warmth and love that cannot be explained. (The song was: The Promise by Plus One- I will put it in the weekly song page) 

I got on my knees before God completely broken. I began to cry – and then I asked God to explain to me why?! I learned in that moment, God wants us to be honest with him. I had been taught to never question God – but in that moment, all my fear, doubts, pain and just pure brokenness was laid bare – I told God everything. I laid it out flat. I remember feeling – God’s Love. But not the Jesus loves you on Sunday kind of love. This was way more complicated and complex and went deeper than anything I had ever known or experienced. Despite having been a Christian since I was 9 – I had never experienced redemptive love in that way before. I also had never been in that kind of serious rebellion against God before either.  It was through my pain that God was meeting me where I was and showing me just how much he truly cares and loves me. (and even YOU the reader who is reading this) God so deeply and profoundly loves us! It’s not just a saying! Not one bit! Love is an action word for God.

There is a verse in the Bible that talks about God being near to the broken hearted. I can attest that this is true. As I kept praying and asking God all the why’s I could think of – like why did he intervene when He knows I knew better -God knew I had attended many church services, attended many bible studies and went to how many retreats — Let me count the ways I knew better than to 1) get mad at God 2) Blame God 3) Tell God to get out my life. Let’s just say there were zero excuses. Yet, He was a gentle and kind and a loving father in this moment. I was so deep in my prayer asking forgiveness for my prideful ways that I had a vision of Jesus coming up out of the clouds. When I asked God one more time – why did he save me from my own destructive ways – in my vision he out-stretched His arms, as if being nailed to the cross again, and said to my spirit – “I LOVE YOU THIS MUCH”! He told me, “I knew you did not know where to put all that anger you have been carrying so I took it for you and carried it”. It was in this moment – This was God’s redemptive love!! While I was yet a sinner – Christ died for me. My mind was blown. How can Jesus die for us knowing that we willing want to go our own way and make a total mess of our lives. How can the human mind comprehend this type of unconditional love? This is something to this day, I still marvel over. As the answer to this question, I will never be able to ever answer. Other than to simply say – Jesus paid the ultimate price to show us just how far he would go to show us He LOVES us! No one has ever willingly died for another person’s sin until Jesus nor will there be another to do it. 

“Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him!” Romans‬ ‭5‬:‭7‬-‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. “You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭3‬-‭4‬ ‭MSG‬‬

After hearing the song The Promise, God used that Christian group to lead me to a book called “You are Not Your Own” written by Jason Perry on of the member of the group. This book changed my life!!  Again, God was busy at work doing what he does best. This book was a testimony from a guy my age going through and fighting the exact same battle! What are the chances? The book also described the steps he took to give God his all once again. I learned in that moment, that even in our mistakes God can still do his best work in us. We don’t have to be perfect for God to use us. 

In fact, it’s when we learn from our pain and we turn it into our greatest triumph where God shines even brighter. It’s thriving in spite of circumstances, we choose to rise and stand tall. When you step into that light – the demons tremble because all their sad and pathetic attempts to destroy you FAILED! This is how we win over spiritual attacks in our lives! Take pain and turn it into victory! When we are at our lowest, God can still make a way!! There could not have been a more perfect book for me to find that day. It was a divine intervention from above. The hand of God is amazing but you trust Him, head His voice and go where He leads you. God 

lead me to that song and that song lead me to the book which pointed back to Jesus! God pursues after us! Think about this for a moment – look at your life – is there a logical reason for the God of the universe to chase after you or I? After all the things we do? He created us, why wouldn’t He want us to choose Him? He put thought into each and every one of us – He knows the number of hair on our heads. Who else knows you like that? There is no one!  Just like you have a deep longing to be picked, to be chosen to be someone’s number one –  God choose you! But just as badly, He also wants you to choose him back!

“Suppose one of you had a hundred sheep and lost one. Wouldn’t you leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the lost one until you found it? When found, you can be sure you would put it across your shoulders, rejoicing, and when you got home call in your friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Celebrate with me! I’ve found my lost sheep!’ Count on it—there’s more joy in heaven over one sinner’s rescued life than over ninety-nine good people in no need of rescue.” Luke 15:4-7 MSG

As an encouragement, even if you don’t see God moving in your life He is. God works like the wind -you cannot see the wind but you can see the effects of it!! There is so much noise all around us all the time. The spiritual oppression from demonic forces have locked up and chained so main people. Look at the world around us – we are starving for love and connection. We are told in our spirits that God is so far away, He doesn’t care and doesn’t see you where you are – in pain. But that is a lie. God is waiting for us to run to him and tell him all our problems. He wants to give you strength – the strength that you lack on your own-  to face another day. To whisper to your soul that you are loved and you matter and have a purpose.

When life gets hard and you get angry and want to blameGod for your circumstances – STOP – think about the 3 categories of sim discussed above-  it is your own doing?  Is this a spiritual attack? Is it just circumstantial. Remember, these areas are not God’s doing. Remind yourself we live in a fallen sinful world. Just look around – we are in a sad state of affairs. We have a real enemy – Satan and his demons. Stay vigilant, as sometimes when going through a demonic attacks, we can sin in response to it because we get weak and we listen to the enemy’s slippery little lies. If something is whispering negative thoughts – understand where that is coming from and turn from it. Run to God and have victory over that moment! God does not want us to stay where we are. He wants us to turn away from sin and return to Him.  When you turn around and run back to your Heavenly Father, just remember, Jesus will be running to meet you with arms wide open!  God is a gentleman and will not force His love upon us – we have to open our heart and receive it. When we do, true healing can begin and we will find victory and triumph in our lives.

Challenge Questions:
What ways in your life has God been trying to show you He loves you? Has he been trying to get your attention? Are you tooo busy to listen? Too angry to hear him? Are you running away from him? Do you feel like you are too far gone for Jesus to love you? Let me tell you, if you said yes to any of these – God loves you! He was beaten and nailed to a cross to show you, at what lengths He will go to rescue and save you! JESUS LOVES YOU AS FAR AS THE EAST IS FROM THE WEST WITH OUTSTRETCH ARMS!!! 

“Could it be any clearer? Our old way of life was nailed to the cross with Christ, a decisive end to that sin-miserable life—no longer captive to sin’s demands! What we believe is this: If we get included in Christ’s sin-conquering death, we also get included in his life-saving resurrection. We know that when Jesus was raised from the dead it was a signal of the end of death-as-the-end. Never again will death have the last word. When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us. From now on, think of it this way: Sin speaks a dead language that means nothing to you; God speaks your mother tongue, and you hang on every word. You are dead to sin and alive to God. That’s what Jesus did.” Romans 6:6-11 MSG